Oh okay, cool.
- Joan Rivers, “I hate everyone… starting with me” (2013)
I saw this post secret card and it really got me thinking about my current situation in life. To start off, I can’t fully agree with the card - I don’t feel like my college didn’t have a lot to offer me. In fact, I think the college I went to, the experiences I had there, and the people I met during those years allowed me to become the person I am today.
However, I do agree with the second part. The first sentence. I have not reached success yet so the second part isn’t for me, yet. (fingers crossed) But I feel like so much of our teenage lives we are focused on what we have to do to get into a good college, so we can get a good job, so we can support our family and all the babies we will inevitably have. The steps never seem to end. When do we get to enjoy where we are and not worry about “the next step?”
I lead a small group of senior high school girls so this has been on my mind lately as they are stressing about choosing the right school so they can get the right job and lead a successful life. That’s a whole lot of pressure for an 18 year old who probably has no idea who they are or what they want out of their life.
I wish I could tell them it is a big decision, you are spending a lot of money after all and it will help determine your path in life for a little while, but you will probably change your mind. A bunch of times. Cause you’re young and inexperienced, and will always want something more out of life. And you know what? That’s totally okay.
I went to school at an expensive private liberal arts college with plans to one day be a great journalist. I graduated, with a ton of debt, and with no aspirations to be a reporter. (Perfect timing am I right?)
Do I regret the decisions I made? No. The friends I made in college, and the professors who taught me, helped me become comfortable with who I am. I’m a pretty quirky person and they accepted me just as I was and encouraged and embraced my weirdness. In that time of my life I needed that. I had felt like I was brushed aside in my high school years and this was one of the first times I realized my voice mattered and people wanted to hear it. I had ideas and things to say that were important and I needed to speak up because of that.
Now to be honest, most of my college friends I’m not super close to anymore, besides two of my roommates. While that used to make me sad, I have realized some people were put in our lives for a short amount of time to teach us lessons. They taught me a big one I could never thank them enough for. I’ve made new friends and transitioned to new phases of my life, and cherish and love the new ones I have right now, who teach me ways to better myself everyday.In my two years post college I’ve learned more about life and what’s important than ever before. I have learned how to live off very little money, what to do when you actually do run out, and how to accept a very boring job and continue to go there everyday for two years and not want to scream at everyone in sight. Most importantly I’ve learned how important it is not to compare yourself to the success or failures of others. I’m really bad at this but I’m trying to learn it’s okay to not have everything figured out at 24 years old.
Right now in my life I feel like I’m at another decision making point. I find myself asking is it financially responsible to do this? Will I actually enjoy doing that? Will people think I’m crazy for choosing to go there?
There’s new opportunities out there with big risks, and I’m trying to decide what the best path is for me to take. My improv teachers always say if you’re gonna fail, fail big. So maybe I should start taking that advice.
Yes yes yes yes(via dirtyflowerchild)